ABYSMAL REALMS HELP FILES

LAG

Twas dial-up, and the failing mudders did toil and struggle in the fray
All checksummed were the compressed files
And the man pages, outdate
Beware the Internet my son,
The noise that hangs, the lag that kills
Beware the Usenet news, and shun the frivolous mud with frills
So took he his mudding client in hand
Longtime the virtual foe he sought
So rested he by the T1s three and paused a while in swap
And as in disk-drive swap he stayed,
The Internet, with lags of fame
Came packetwise through the T1 line
And error-checked as it came
One two one two and through and through, the mudding client went kill -9
He left it dead and with its core he went a tracing back
And hath thou slain the Internet?
Come to my arms my disk-based bot!
Oh lag-free day, callooh callay, he chortled in his joy
Twas dial-up, and the failing mudders did toil and struggle in the fray
All checksummed were the compressed files
And the man pages, outdate.